My husband passed away prematurely. In order to bring up my four children, I had to work from dawn till dusk and so I was exhausted every day. The life stress made me full of worries all day long. Therefore, when seeing some of my villagers who believed in God were all smiles and lived without trouble every day, I admired them very much. I thought to myself: “People whoare really happy and carefree, so I also want to be a believer in God.”
To my surprise, a few days later, my next-door neighbor preached God’s gospel to me. Through reading, I came to understand why I had lived such a painful and tiring life: I didn’t believe in God, and didn’t know the meaning of life, and thus I lived unthinkingly day by day. When something distressing befell me, without the guidance of God’s words, I had no choice but to live under Satan’s fooling and affliction. Now I knew that only by coming before God and accepting His salvation can we live a free and liberated life. Then, I joyfully accepted the gospel of God’s kingdom, and started my church life. Later, I often sang hymns to praise God and read His word together with some brothers and sisters. Each of them was pure and simple, and they were concerned about me and took care of me very well, so I experienced the warmth that comes from having a large family. From then on, I smiled more and became more spirited, and I no longer lived in distress. I thanked God from the bottom of my heart for saving me. I felt that believing in God was truly good and my enthusiasm increased. Soon I began to perform my duty in the church.
Less than a year after I accepted God’s work, something unexpected happened. As my elder son gambled in a bingo ball, he not only lost all the money of selling the paddy harvested from 45 mu of field, but owed a debt. When I learnt this news, I felt as if I had fallen into the bottomless abyss. It was very hard for me to accept this fact and calm down. I couldn’t help thinking: “All the costs of chemical fertilizer, pesticide and some other things of the rice field were borrowed from others, but now my son has lost all the money. What will I use to pay off the debt? Now I even have no money to live on …” Thinking of this, I felt so sad as if a knife were twisting in my heart. In order to support my family, I had rushed around like a headless chicken, and never had an easy day. And now I met this matter. Why was my life so difficult? During that time, I always cried, lost my appetite and couldn’t fall asleep. I even thought about suicide to free myself from these troubles. But on second thoughts, my husband died early; if I also died, wouldn’t my family break apart? With this, I had to give up the idea. However, I still couldn’t calm down, and had no heart to read God’s words or attend gatherings, for I was disturbed by this matter constantly.
One day, when Sister Wang saw I didn’t look well, she asked me what had happened. I then told her all the things. After hearing my words, she fellowshiped with me: “Concerning this matter, on the surface, your son gambled away the money, but actually what’s behind it is a spiritual struggle. Here, let’s take a look at what God’s words say. God says: ‘In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements, or from human interference. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. Take when Job was tried, for example: Behind the scenes, Satan was making a bet with God, and what happened to Job was the deeds of men, and the interference of men. Behind every step that God does in you is Satan’s wager with God—behind it all is a battle.’
“From God’s words, we can see that outwardly the things we encounter are interactions between people, but actually in the spiritual world Satan is making a wager with God and fighting over mankind with God. It attempts to use something disadvantageous to our flesh to make us betray God. Just like when the temptation befell Job, on the surface his property was taken away by robbers, and it was man’s deeds, but in reality it was because of Satan’s accusation against Job before God that Job encountered such a temptation and his property was actually robbed by Satan. However, Job did not complain to God, but stood testimony for God through his. After he said, ‘Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah,’ Satan retreated in humiliation. The matter you encountered, on the surface, is that your son has lost so much money, but actually it is also a scheme of Satan. Because we believe in God and follow Him, Satan becomes red-eyed with fury and doesn’t want God to obtain us. Through your son’s gambling, it took away your money and made you live in pain. Thus you lived in negativity and weakness, and didn’t want to read God’s words or attend gatherings, and you even thought of death. From this, we can see that Satan is too hateful. So we must see through its cunning schemes. We can’t stray away from God, and should keep reading His word.”
After listening to God’s words and sister’s fellowship, I finally understood that Satan wanted to use this thing to disturb my mind, causing me to live in negativity and weakness, lose my faith in God, and even think of suicide. I was so foolish and ignorant. On the other hand, I also saw how detestable Satan is. When I had some discernment of Satan’s tricks, I came before God and prayed: “God, You saved me from my previous miserable life. But when Satan’s schemes befell me, I lost my confidence in You. But for Your arranging for Sister Wang to fellowship with me, I couldn’t have had the discernment of Satan’s schemes, and I would have continued to live in unbearable pain due to its disturbance. Oh God, no matter how Satan disturbs me from now on, I will persist in reading Your words and follow You to the end.”
After praying, I no longer felt so miserable, and continued to read God’s words every day, live the church life regularly, and fulfill my duty. Subsequently, my faith in God increased gradually. Previously I didn’t know when I could pay off the debts of my son and the costs of chemical fertilizer and pesticide. But the following year, after I sold out the paddy of the 45 mu of land, not only did I pay off all the debts but I had several thousand yuan left. That was really unexpected. I was very happy and thanked God for His blessings from the bottom of my heart. I became more confident.
But Satan was unwilling to admit defeat, and its temptation befell me again. One day, I suddenly received a call from my son who worked in another place. He said that he somehow went blind and asked me to quickly take him home. When I heard this news, I couldn’t believe my ears. I felt as if the heaven had come crashing down. I thought: His eyes were always good, but how come he could not see suddenly? Without thinking too much, I quickly called my son-in-law, and asked him to fetch my son with me. When arriving at my son’s lodging, I saw him sitting there eye-blinded. Immediately tears streamed down my face. In order not to delay the treatment, my son-in-law and I took him to a big local hospital for an examination. After the examination, the doctor said, “It will take at least half a year to cure his eyes.” When I learnt of this, I decided to take my son to hometown for treatment, for everything there was unfamiliar to me.
As soon as we returned to our hometown, we went to the county hospital. I never imagined that the doctor would refuse to treat my son when finding out my son’s disease was serious. The doctor advised us to go to a big hospital, and then I hurried to take my son to a provincial hospital. After examination, the doctor said, “The diagnosis is amphiblestitis, retinal detachment and ophthalmoneuritis. It’s difficult to cure. I’m not sure if I can heal him.” Hearing this, I thought: “Anyway, we must have a try, or else my son’s eye problem would never be cured.” However, my son stayed in the hospital for half a month, which cost us more than five thousand yuan, but his eyes were not getting better at all. Therefore, I had to take my son home in grief.
Not long after that, I learnt that my son’s eyes could be cured in the hospitals specializing in ophthalmology. Thus I took my son to a hospital. I hoped against hope that they could heal him. After the examinations, the specialist said: “It’s a rare disease. We will try our best to treat him, but the chances for curing his eyes are very slim. If it doesn’t take a turn for the better in a week, we can do nothing then. You could only go to any other hospital.” Listening to this, I felt that my hope had turned to disappointment again, thinking: “My son is still young. If he is unable to see things, how will he live the following days? Now I am old. Who will take care of him in the future?” At this thought, I felt miserable as if a knife were piercing my heart. Unwittingly, I began to misunderstand God and complain to God, thinking: “I often attend meetings, read God’s words and perform my duties. But why does God not cure my son’s eyes? Why does such a matter befall me?”
Just as I was worried about my son, a person suddenly said to me: “It seems that your son’s eye problems are so serious that even the specialist isn’t sure to cure him. I advise you to go to a Buddhist temple to worship Buddha. If you do this, your son’s eyes will be healed….” At that time my only hope was that my son’s eyes would be cured as soon as possible. For this, I was willing to do anything. Just as my heart was a little shaken, I suddenly thought of the words of God: “You must be awake and waiting at every moment, and you must pray more before Me. You must recognize the various plots and cunning schemes of Satan, know the spirit, know people and be able to discern all kinds of people, matters and things; you must eat and drink more of My words and, more importantly, you must be able to eat and drink them by yourselves. Equip yourselves with all the truth, come before Me so that I may open your spiritual eyes and allow you to see all the mysteries that lie within the spirit….” Without God’s words timely reminding me, I might have fallen into Satan’s scheme again. This time Satan used my son’s eye problems to make me worried, and used other people’s tongue to entice me to worship fake gods and evil spirits. Satan’s sinister motive was to destroy my normaland disturb my mind, so that my visions became unclear, and I even wanted to leave and betray God. Satan was so evil that it attacked me by any means possible. Before this, it used my elder son’s gambling away the money to make me live in pain and almost lose my life; this time it used a person’s words to lure me to worship fake gods. I couldn’t fall into its trap. Though I had known this was Satan’s scheme, I still did not understand: I have believed in God, but why does God not protect me from Satan’s temptations?
Just when I was feeling very puzzled about this, I thought of a passage of God’s words a sister read at the meeting: “If many things come upon you that are not in line with your notions but you are able to put them aside and know God’s actions from these things, and in the midst of refinements you reveal your heart of love for God, this is standing witness. If your home is peaceful, you enjoy comforts of the flesh, no one is persecuting you, and your brothers and sisters in the church obey you, can you display your heart of love for God? Can this refine you? It is only through refinement that your love for God can be shown, and it is only through things occurring that are not in line with your conceptions that you can be perfected. It is through many negative things, many adversities that God perfects you. It is through many of Satan’s actions, accusations, and its expression in many people that God allows you to acquire knowledge, thus perfecting you.” Through God’s words, I was suddenly enlightened. That Satan’s temptations come upon me is permitted by God. Satan wants to use my son’s illness to make me complain about and misunderstand God, while God uses its temptations to perfect my faith. This is also God’s test of me, which allows me to see whether my faith in God is true or not. After understanding, I prayed to Him: “God, since I didn’t understand the truth, I misunderstood and blamed You when I was faced with Satan’s schemes. Today it is Your words that make me understand Your intentions. From now on, I will never leave You regardless of how Satan tempts me. At the same time, I also understand that whether my son’s eyes will be cured is in Your hand. I’m willing to truly entrust my son to You and may You keep my heart.” After praying, I felt peaceful and steady. I was not worried about my son’s eye problems like before.
At night when the patients fell asleep in the sickroom, I quieted my heart before God, and opened my tablet computer to listen to the recitals of God’s words. I felt very enjoyable. On the fifth day in the hospital, a miracle happened: My son could see something vaguely. He cried with excitement: “Mom, now I can see! I can see!” Seeing this, I felt extremely happy. At that time, the doctor also happily said: “This is really a miracle. To tell you the truth, your son’s eye problems are the most serious. I’m not sure to cure him. However, now your son can see. It’s incredible!” When hearing the doctor’s words, I was very clear inside that all these things were God’s wonderful deeds. I offered my thanks and praises to God from the bottom of my heart.
Through these experiences, I saw when God brings a person before Him, Satan follows behind Him and disrupt and disturb His work. Satan is so wicked and base. Meanwhile, I also see God’s almightiness and wisdom, for He uses Satan’s temptations to perfect one’s faith in Him. Thank God! Although Satan’s temptations brought me some sufferings, I saw God’s wonderful deeds. From now on, no matter how Satan tempts me, I will rely on God, pursue the truth, and bear witness for Him. All the glory be to the one true God!
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