What Makes My Family Harmonious

By Gao Zan, Canada

What Makes My Family Harmonious

After work, I dragged myself home. But when I pushed the door, what I saw really relieved my fatigue quite a bit: The table has been spread with dishes, my wife is still bustling about in the kitchen and our two kids are doing their homework. I recalled that several months ago there were still endless quarrels and frequent silent treatment in my family. But now, it has been restored to peace and the relationship between me and my wife also has been restored to the original state. I finally live a warm family life which I have longed for. I can’t help giving thanks to the Lord because it is the Lord that has saved my family.

My wife was the kind of person who had a mind of her own, and had her own opinions when dealing with things; I was a little chauvinistic and I would feel ashamed if I acted on her thoughts. And I also thought she was less well-informed than me, for she was always doing housework and taking care of the children at home. So every time my wife made a suggestion, I would deny it and insist that she should act on my thoughts. Hence, we always came into collision with each other because of different opinions and even argued with each other due to some trivial matters. What troubled me most was the silent treatment after our argument. It was a war without gunsmoke, which lasted for at least a week or even as long as half a month. I always thought: Does it still resemble a family? Will I live with my wife like this for the whole life? I felt very tired …

One of my relatives learned that we had a falling-out and then preached the Lord’s gospel to my wife. Since then, I found my wife had changed a lot: She argued with me less and less and even if sometimes I said something improper, she didn’t argue with me; when I was in a bad mood, she would say some words to console me; … Her changes brought me a little warmth of the home.

Although my wife didn’t quarrel with me, when seeing something disagreeable to me, I couldn’t help but give my family a dirty look and criticize this or that. Our two kids didn’t dare to approach me because I lost my temper. Every time after that I was really regretful but I couldn’t control myself …

Seeing my painful look, my wife communicated with me: “In the beginning, man God had created lived a carefree life, without pain and anxiety, much less annoyance. But now, every day we are exhausted physically and mentally and living in unbearable pain. Do you know the reason? It’s because our ancestors, Adam and Eve, didn’t listen to God’s words but believed Satan’s lies. They ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and thus they were finally banished from the Garden of Eden by God. From then on, we human beings began to become arrogant, conceited and autocratic, and to fight each other; everyone wants to be the master, control others and make others listen to them. As a result, we all live under Satan’s dark influence and suffer unspeakably. You know very well about what kind of person I was. I argued with you over some little things and lost my appetite because of anger. Every day I lived in pain, very exhausted. Sometimes I bottled up the anger in my heart, and during serious times, I even thought of death. However, after I accepted the Lord’s gospel, I knew that my interacting with you according to my corrupt dispositions is what the Lord dislikes. The Lord instructed us that we should be tolerant and patient and associate with others with love. Then I began to follow the Lord’s teachings and didn’t lose my temper because of some trivial matters anymore. When coming across some disagreeable events, I didn’t fixate on the events anymore because I knew the people, events and objects I come across every day are all the Lord’s managements and contain the Lord’s will. The Lord exactly uses these things to make me see through Satan’s tricks and not follow Satan anymore.” Hearing her words, I thought that I also lived in unbearable pain every day and wanted to get rid of the abyss of misery. Therefore, I also accepted the Lord’s salvation.

After going to meetings for a period of time, I gained a lot and understood many truths which I didn’t know before. Thinking of those things I had done before, I realized that I was too arrogant and always regarded others as inferior to me, so I always held to my opinions and couldn’t accept others’ suggestions. Moreover, my naturalness was too strong and once I came across unpleasant things, I would get angry, which led to our falling-out and my living in pain.

The Bible says, “With all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love” (Eph 4:2). So I followed these words and didn’t hold to my own opinions anymore but humbly listened to my wife’s advice when we had a disagreement. When coming across things that I was not satisfied with, I didn’t get mad freely anymore but was patient and tolerant. Also, I learned to put myself in others’ shoes and could discover others’ strengths. Gradually, the pain deep in my heart was reduced and smiles appeared on my face.

After a period of time, our two kids become willing to get close to me and talk with me about their things. Also, the silent treatment between me and my wife disappears and our relationship becomes better. These are all because of the Lord’s mighty power. Thank and praise the Lord!

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