How to Get On Well With New Partner

By Muzhen

Some time ago, our department supervisor suddenly made a decision: She would transfer my partner to our branch office and find a newcomer as my partner. Faced with this sudden arrangement, my heart was in great turmoil and couldn’t calm down for a long time. I thought: What’s the character of my new partner? I am quick-tempered. Can we get along well? Will we have conflict? I began to guess without stopping and could not be quiet anyway.


One day, the supervisor brought my new partner and said to me smiling: “You guys are partners from now on. She is a newcomer and is unfamiliar with the business, so you should help her more. I hope that you guys can cooperate well with each other to improve the performance early!” “I will! Reassure yourself!” After I replied to the supervisor, I told my new partner all of the primary matters that we should grasp within the scope of our work. Not only do I hope that she could be familiar with business early and improve the performance as soon as possible, but I wanted her to share the burden of my business and reduce my work stress. Afterward, I saw that she studied hard and earnestly every day and could humbly accept all the suggestions I gave to her, so I had a good impression of her. But after we spent a few days together, I found she was not only introverted and quiet but also slow-tempered. Several times when I saw her working slowly, I was anxious and wanted to lose my temper with her, but when I thought that she was a new hand and needed a period of time to learn and gather experience in work, then I was able to gradually keep my temper.

After a few days, I needed to go out to talk business. While I was leaving, I sent a fax to a colleague of our branch office to ask for an urgent material on our work. Quite unexpectedly, when I came back and asked my partner about it, she said: “I didn’t know it was for you. I thought they were mistaken, so I returned it to them.” When I listened to this, I spoke with anger: “What’s wrong with you? Have you ever been invested? Don’t you know we need this material urgently?” My partner knew that she had made a mistake, so she said guiltily: “I will be careful in the future to avoid making such mistakes again.” I continued: “If you really didn’t know how to deal with it, you should have consulted me after I came back and then made the decision!” After saying this, I kept complaining in my heart: What kind of partner you are?! Such a small thing you even cannot deal with well; you are really hopeless! I have already worked in the company for a few months, don’t I know more and am I better than you in our work? You are a newcomer here and know nothing, but you still think yourself clever, decide for yourself, and don’t know to talk things over with me. Do you still see me as your partner? Then I thought of my ex-partner, who not only got along well with my character but also was good at the business, and so from whom I could learn lots of things. But this partner, is neither familiar with the business, nor has a good grasp of the information of clients, much less talk business. What can she do?! The supervisor said she could help me, while I think that not only can she not help me, but she needs my teaching and just holds me back! How could the supervisor scout such a partner for me? I could not help but complain against the supervisor in my heart. Meanwhile, I looked down upon, belittled, and cold-shouldered my partner.

From then on, my partner was susceptible to my control, acting very carefully when she was doing things before me and, often watching my expressions when she was talking with me. In order to be familiar with the business and improve her ability of professional work, she came to work very early and was always the last one to leave the company. It could be seen that she worked very hard, but I didn’t know why I was always dissatisfied with her. I felt very conflicted and entangled, as well as miserable, then I came before God and prayed to Him: “O God! When I saw my partner doing things were not in line with my will, I would look down upon her and cold-shoulder her, and exposed hot blood when I talked to her. I think when I acted in this way, I made her susceptible to my control, which was not beneficial to others. But I couldn’t control my own nature, so I involuntarily thought and did in this way. God! If I depend on myself, it is very hard for me to change my own opinion of her. The only thing I can do is to come before You, to look up to You, and to rely on You.” After praying, I read some words of God: “If you regard others as less than you then you are self-righteous, self-conceited and are of benefit to no one.” After reading God’s words I was somewhat awaken: Why did I always dislike my partner? Why did I always get angry with her as long as I saw her make mistakes? Wasn’t that because I believed that I was better than her and regarded her as worse than me? Wasn’t that because I was dominated by my corrupt dispositions of being arrogant and conceited, self-important and self-righteous? Because of my satanic disposition of arrogance and self-conceit, I was incapable of knowing my own corrupt substance and lost my conscience and sense, so that what I did and what I said were all expressions of my self-conceited corrupt disposition. And I always stood in a high position and lectured others, and unconsciously brought much harm and misery to my partner. Thinking about this, I felt very accused inside. Although I am a Christian, what I lived out was the ugliness of Satan, which could not manifest or honor God. I was really disgraced and ashamed. So I prayed to God silently: May God purify and change me, so that I can put myself aside to practice the truth, live out the likeness of a real man, so that I can cooperate with my partner in harmony, and get along well with her. After praying, I read these words of God: “God is always in the hearts of those who genuinely believe in God and they always carry within them a God-revering heart, a God-loving heart. Those who believe in God should do things with a cautious and prudent heart, and all they do should be in accordance with God’s requirements and be able to satisfy the heart of God. They should not be headstrong, doing whatever they please; that does not befit saintly propriety.” “Everyone has small faults and foibles and they all have some things that are characteristic to them; they can all be self-righteous, weak and lacking. You should therefore help others with a loving heart, be tolerant, be forbearing and don’t be too harsh or make a fuss over every tiny detail.” By reading God’s word, I came to understand: Although I believe in God, neither did I have the place of God in my heart, nor did I have a heart of fearing God before I spoke or acted. Instead, I was always arbitrary and did things randomly. God’s words showed me the way of practice: Everyone has inadequacies and shortcomings; we are all not perfect. Therefore, we should help others with a loving heart, learn to be tolerant of and patient with them, and treat them correctly. We should not be narrow-minded or haggle over every little thing. If we seize upon a deficiency or mistake of others to define and lecture them, we will bring them nothing but harm and blows, God will dislike us, and others will also avoid and be disgusted with us. After understanding God’s intentions, I was willing to put down myself, to practice in line with God’s words, and to help my partner with a loving heart.

Several days later, my partner tried to draw up a design plan by herself, but she was afraid that she could not do it well. When I knew her thought and worry, I encouraged her: “Don’t be afraid. All things are difficult before they are easy. Just get it done boldly and without reservation. After you finish it, we can check it together, and if there is anything unsuitable, we can correct and perfect it together.” Hearing this she began to do it merrily. After the plan was designed, she showed it me. I carefully read it and found some thoughtless defects of it, which would affect the company’s profit unless corrected. Then I patiently pointed them out to my partner, and I made corrections and revisions with her for several times till both of us were satisfied with it. If it had happened before, I would never have communicated with others to solve problems as patiently as today, but would have directly finished the plan by myself. Today I could put myself aside—this was all because the words of God had changed my corrupt dispositions and perspectives on things.

Afterward, I consciously put myself aside and practiced God’s words, and then I got along better with my partner. But when we faced some problems, my heart would still waver somewhat. One morning, our department received a design plan from a cooperative partner of our company. I made some careful modifications and revisions of it and then arranged it. After that, I confidently showed it to my partner. I thought she must approve of and admire me, but I never dreamed that after she read it, my partner gave some suggestions about the plan and said there were several points which I amended inappropriately. Listening to her words, I felt my dignity lost completely and could not help but think: How long have you been here? What do you know? Are you qualified to give me advice? … At the time when I wanted to refute and deny her advice, I suddenly realized that my arrogant nature was going to break out. So I immediately prayed to God in my heart, asking God to protect me so that I could humble myself and submit first. After praying, I thought of God’s words: “When you encounter issues, you mustn’t be self-right, thinking, ‘I have the final say. You are not qualified to speak. I understand the principles, what do you understand? You don’t understand, I do!’ This is being self-right. Being self-right is a corrupt satanic disposition; it is not something within normal humanity.” “Don’t be self-righteous; take the strengths of others and use them to offset your own deficiencies, watch how others live by God’s words and see whether or not their lives, actions and speech is worth learning from.” God’s words enlightened and reminded me in time and allowed me to realize: Self-righteousness and arrogance and conceit not only would not allow me to work well, but also made my partner feel restrained and led to God’s disliking me. So I should humbly accept others’ suggestions, learn from others’ advantages, and use others’ strengths to make up for my own deficiencies. Only by doing this could I be called a person who had conscience and reason. Thinking of this, I carefully considered and analyzed her suggestions, and only at that moment did I find that her proposals were suitable. To modify the plan according to my partner’s suggestions will not only make our relationship with the cooperative partner more harmonious, but also can make more profit for our company; it’s really killing two birds with one stone. So I let go of my prejudice against my partner and modified the plan according to her suggestions again. When my partner saw my attitude, she said, smiling, “I was still afraid that you would be unhappy when I gave my suggestions just now. I really did not expect that you could accept them!” Hearing this, I said and smiled: “After I weighed them carefully, I believed that your suggestions were thoughtful, so I took your suggestions. From now on, we should have more discussions and communications in everything, listen to whoever is right, and strive to improve the performance figures early to gain higher profits for our company. Come on, let’s go for it together!” As my partner listened, she smiled happily. From this, I truly tasted that it was so nice when I practiced God’s words and got along with others according to God’s words.

When I put aside my conceited disposition and practiced God’s words, gradually, my partner actively spoke the words from her heart to me. Now we become confidants and tell one another everything. In the meantime, I find that my partner has lots of strengths and merits which I do not have: She is sensible and nimble in thoughts, and always acts calmly and steadily without haste, which exactly can complement my deficiencies of quick temper and carelessness. It is really nice to have such a partner! Only then did I understand: No matter who God has allocated to cooperate with me, they are all beneficial to me. Through partner’s deficiencies and shortcomings, God reveals my arrogant and conceited corrupt dispositions; through the revelation of God’s words, I come to realize my corrupt substance and understand God’s will and requirements. Regardless of who we cooperate with, we should not live based on our corrupt satanic dispositions or be arrogant and self-righteous ones to have the final say. Instead, we should pay more attention to others’ advantages. Even though we have already had some knowledge or some caliber, we still should lead a low-key life. When encountering matters, we should consult with others more; when we see others’ shortcomings, we should be able to tolerate and have patience with them, helping them with a loving heart. Only by doing this can our relationships with others become more and more harmonious. This is my secret of getting along well with others!

All the glory be to Almighty God!

You may be interested in this article: I Have Learnt How to Pair Up With Others at Work

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4 Principles for Christians’ Interacting With Others

By Hanxiao After believing in the Lord, along with listening to more and more sermons, we have some understanding of the Lord’s words and also always put forbearance and patience into action according to the Lord’s teachings in interacting with others. For this reason, we often feel peace and joy in our heart. But it is undeniable that many Christians are very hazy about the principles of practice in establishing normal interpersonal relationships. In fact, there are mainly four principles for Christians’ interacting with others. With them, we will be able to live out the likeness that the Lord is pleased with in our life. The first principle is that we should be able to love each other while getting along with others; the second is dealing with people with wisdom; the third is treating others correctly; the fourth is that we should not interact with others on the basis of our philosophy of life, but should establish a proper relationship with God. So long as we keep the four principles in our daily life, we will be in accord with the will of God in interacting with others. The first principle is that we can love each other. The Lord Jesus required that “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like to it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). For example, Peter said to the Lord Jesus: “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” The Lord Jesus saidto him: “I say not to you, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven” (See Matthew 18:21-22). We all have weaknesses and inadequacies, so our interactions with others should be based on loving each other. In this way, we will not have any trouble living in harmony with others. Those who have no love are inhuman and cannot get along with others, while those who have it have a compassionate heart, like to help others, and moreover are able to comfort those who suffer hardships. Besides, those who have no compassion love others conditionally. They only help and forgive those who did them a favor before or those who haven’t hurt them. As soon as someone impinges on or harms their own interests, they seem to forgive him outwardly, but their hearts are full of dissatisfaction and boredom. In this situation, we need to pray to God more and ask Him to grant us with a heart of truly forgiving and loving others. Only when we truly rely on God, can we have the faith to put forgiveness and patience into practice, and let go of the prejudices and dissatisfaction toward others inside us. But loving our neighbors as ourselves is not unprincipled, and God does not require a confused kind of love of men. We see that the Lord Jesus was full of mercy and love toward those who believed in and followed Him, but condemned and cursed the hypocritical Pharisees who opposed Him, this is an exemplification of the righteous disposition of God. So, we ought to draw a clear boundary line between ourselves and all the satanic forces that oppose and condemn God to achieve loving those who God loves and being clear about love and hate. The second principle is dealing with people with wisdom. In Matthew 10:16-17, the Lord Jesus said, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the middle of wolves: be you therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will whip you in their synagogues.” Actually, for Christians, using wisdom is an indispensable principle in practicing forbearance and patience and loving our neighbors as ourselves. This is because some people are the Christians pursuing truth, but some are the forces that are hostile to God, oppose God, and refuse to accept the gospel of God. And they are specially sent by Satan to interrupt and disturb the work of God. If church business or something about brothers and sisters is known to them, they will get a hold on these things to attack, judge, and condemn, and even report the brothers and sisters to the police. So, we must have discernment and be wise with these people. Secondly, it is unavoidable to encounter many difficulties in getting along with others, so it is indispensable for a Christian to use wisdom. Actually using wisdom is, on the one hand, for the sake of allowing others to gain benefits, and on the other hand, for the sake of helping to solve problems easily. For example, if we want to do or say something, we should consider what sort of disposition the person we are interacting with has, and how to go about things in a way that benefits them and does not harm them. All these are some practices of using wisdom. The principle of dealing with people with wisdom is also very important. The third principle is treating others properly. The Lord Jesus said to us: “And why behold you the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the mote out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of your own eye; and then shall you see clearly to cast out the mote out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5). If wishing to attain to treating others properly, we should not fixate our eyes on others, but should learn to find out our own shortcomings. If we always fixate our eyes on others’ shortcomings, we can never get along with others in harmony. For example, we often discover our families’ shortcomings when interacting with them: They do not take care of or show any consideration for us, the food they cook is not to our taste, the children are too disobedient to control, the husband seldom does housework, and so on. And when associating with our colleagues or friends, we often find that this colleague is too selfish, that colleague likes to judge others behind their backs, or a friend of ours likes to take advantage of others, and so forth. There are too many examples of this, and we are often troubled by them, not knowing how to deal with others. In fact, what we should do is not to fixate our eyes on others but to learn to find out others’ strengths and our own shortcomings. And never should we impose that which we believe is right on others. When doing things, we should take account not only of our own interests, but also of others’. Besides, we should learn to be more considerate to others, to benefit them, and to listen to others’ opinions more. If someone has some shortcomings or does something wrong that jeopardizes our interests, we should treat it properly. Since the Lord Jesus can forgive us, we should also forgive others. The fourth principle is that we cannot use the philosophies of life to interact with others, but should instead establish a proper relationship with God. This is the most important. In our daily life, we often use those philosophies of life in the world to maintain relationship with other people, such as “Think before you speak and then talk with reservation,” “More friends, more paths. More enemies, more barriers,” “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship,” and so on. When we do things according to these philosophies of life, actually, this just shows that what we worship is still Satan. Our maintaining relationship with others in this way is hated by God. What God requires of us is to have a normal relationship with Him and do everything according to His words, such as being an honest person, not telling lies in interacting with others, and not making flattering remarks. When seeing that the practices of some brothers and sisters are not in accordance with or violate the Lord’s teachings, we can point it out instead of being afraid of displeasing them. In short, all things are established on the basis of the Lord’s teachings. We can practice whatever the Lord requires of us. Only this is having a normal relationship with God. The above are the four principles for us Christians’ interacting with others. 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