Knowing God’s Sovereignty, I Am No Longer Upset at My Short Stature

By Wang Ting

I am short in stature, and this once upset me most greatly. When others’ funny looks and sarcasm came upon me, my self-esteem plummeted, and I could only live in my place agitated, suffering and struggling. Until one day, I encountered the omnipotent God. His words of life opened the mysteries that are unknown to man, guided me to shake off the shadow of being short, and lighted up my new life.

In my childhood, I hoped that I would be taller.

When I was young, because I was shorter than other children of my age, I was placed at the head of the file or in the front row in the classroom. Especially when our teachers asked us to write or do exercises on the blackboard, only when I stood on a small stool could I reach the blackboard. This brought about mockery from my classmates. I felt very ashamed, and envied those taller ones from the bottom of my heart. But I was proud and wasn’t convinced. I often thought: “Though I am less tall than you are now, I will be taller as I grow older.” And so as not to be looked down on me because of my height, I silently made a resolution: “I must surpass you in study.” So in class I listened attentively; outside of class while my classmates were talking, laughing and jesting, afraid of being laughed at, I never joined them but just buried myself in my study. Finally, my hard work paid off—my grades were outstanding, and my teachers and classmates thus paid special regard to me. But yet ridicule could not be escaped. My young heart withstanding such mockery, my personality was becoming solitary and unsociable, and I was unwilling to play with other children.

In my teenager years, I was always troubled because tall stature was out of reach for me.

As time went by, I grew older, yet I didn’t grow much taller. Among all sisters, I was the shortest; such was the case among the girls in my age group in my village and even those a few years younger than me was taller than me. My short stature became a headache for me and so I often sighed silently. Every time when I heard my classmates discussing the subject of height, I would pretend not to have heard or find some things to do to cover up my sufferings.

There was one time when a tall middle-aged woman came to find my mother. As she saw me, she looked me up and down in complete amazement and said, “All your other sisters are very tall, why are you so short?” Hearing this sarcastic words, my face flushed bright red and I could not wait to find a place to hide away immediately. I felt overwhelmed and thought, “You are just tall. What’s the big deal? Your height entitles you to tease me? As the old saying goes, ‘As a tree lives for its bark, a man lives for his face.’ You know clearly I’m short, but still say like this. Aren’t you deliberately taunting me? Who don’t want to be tall?” I was eager for her to leave quickly and didn’t want to see her again. All day I did not feel good and the more I thought about it, the more distressed I was. So I accused my parents, saying, “I am so short and it’s all your fault. If I could be taller, even just one or two inches, I wouldn’t be taunted like this.”

Later on, I encountered my deskmate. She, who was nearly as the same height as me in primary school, had grown to 1.6 meters within several years. I envied her very much and at the same time was disheartened about my height.

a painful woman in the street

After getting married, I suffered snubs from my husband.

After reaching adulthood, in order not to be a laughingstock to others or be looked down upon by them, I contacted people as little as possible. Whenever I went outside, I would wear high heels and only then could I get a little confidence back. Though wearing high heels was exhausting and my ankles even got sprained several times, I was willing to do so in order not to be looked that short. So high heels of various styles became my beloved things. When buying shoes, others focused on whether or not they were comfortable while I paid no attention to that but just focused on whether or not they could make me look taller and more beautiful. After a day’s walking, my feet were often swollen and even my shoes rubbed and gave me blisters, but I could do nothing but endure the pain with secret tears.

When I reached my marrying age, considering my degree and job, I originally planned to find a better partner, but because of my short stature, I had to compromise, lower my standards and marry my present husband. Unexpectedly, he resented me for my height too. In front of the others, he never walked side by side with me but just stayed ahead, because he thought that I was undeserving of him and embarrassed him. Following behind him, I felt extremely miserable. I kept sighing and thought, “I am so short. Before, when I was in my family, I was discriminated against by my villagers. Now, I am married but still avoided by my husband. Why is my life so hard?”

After accepting God’s gospel, I recognized that my height originated from God’s predestination.

Just as I was afflicted by the torment, one of my own family told me about God’s gospel of last days. I saw these words of God, “Since the creation of the world I have begun to predestine and select this group of people, namely, you today. Your temperament, caliber, appearance, stature, family in which you were born, your job and your marriage, the entirety of you, even the color of your hair and your skin, and the time of your birth were all arranged by My hands. Even the things you do and the people you meet every single day are arranged by My hands, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today is actually My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly.

God’s words allowed me to recognize that whatever family we are born into, whatever kind of appearance we have, and what height we have are all predestined by God; that they cannot be chosen by us humans, nor can they be decided by our parents. Recalling these years, I always felt inferior and pained because of being thought less of by others for my short stature, so much so that I complained to my parents that my height was their fault, complained about others’ mockery, and complained about how my husband treated me and made me unable to raise my head among people. And I stayed away from other people and enclosed myself. Now I knew that my height and appearance are arranged by God, that despite my short stature, God didn’t turn His back on me but instead chose me and made me come before Him and allowed me to see His love for me. Because God’s words comforted me, my heart began to have a feeling of joy and the frustrations and pain of all those years decreased a lot.

Through my contact and living the church life with my brothers and sisters, I found that they were enthusiastic about and full of love for me and never revealed any degradation or contempt. As long as there were things I did not understand, they always were very patient in fellowshiping God’s words with me and wouldn’t stop until I understood. Also, they told me that in the interactions with each other, brothers and sisters all treat others justly based on the word of God, and they encouraged me to fellowship more, and open up about whatever thoughts I had so that we could seek the truth to resolve the problem together. This truly made me feel the love from God. I, who was inferior, finally found the courage to raise my head and speak.

Through seeking the root cause, I knew my inferiority came from my fallacious thinking and perspectives.

fellowship together

God’s words cured the pain in my heart. Then I thought, “My short stature is predestined by God. So why did I feel inferior?” One day, I read this passage of God’s words: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him.

What God’s words revealed made me understand that we live in a filthy world that has been corrupted by Satan, that the cultural knowledge and traditional ceremony accepted by us were all influenced and infected by the philosophy of Satan. Our views on life and values have been seriously distorted. We have no truth, so we do not know what is good and what is evil, and we will use Satan’s viewpoint of “people need face like a tree needs its bark” to judge things to be good or evil, beautiful or ugly. Not only do we compare ourselves to others, seek to distinguish ourselves and to make others look highly upon us and admire us in our job and career, but even our appearance that we are born with are judged. The tall and good-looking are welcome and looked upon while the short and ordinary are disparaged and rejected and thus suffer harm and pain. I thought of how because of my short stature, I was unable to show off in front of others or take the stage, others took digs at me and even my husband looked down upon me. All this gave me a sense of inferiority and I lost my hope in life. Then to protect my self-respect, I shut myself off from everyone and didn’t dare to go out, as if I had done something shameful. My sense of inferiority reached a certain point that I felt my life had no meaning. I also thought of how there were many people just like me, all of whom are discriminated against by society because of their height and appearance, lead a difficult life that they even lose the courage to live. Thus, I came to know that what living by Satan’s philosophies and views brought us was only harm. Only by accepting the guidance of God’s word can we possess the right outlook on life and values, break free of Satan’s prison and harm and live a free and liberated life.

I understood that everything God created is good and my heart was unchained.

Once, I went to visit one of my colleagues at her home just when she was arranging her clothes in the closet. She said thoughtlessly, “Because of my physique, finding a dress in my size is easy and I’ll look good in whatever I choose. Considering your height, it seems that finding one in your size is difficult. Maybe every pair of pants you buy needs some alterations….” Though she didn’t really intend what she said, I took her words to heart and felt somewhat awkward because what she said was true. I am short, so finding the right size is indeed difficult and I look bad in anything. If this had happened before I believed in God, I would have heavy hearts and even not want to go out anymore because of my inferiority. But at that moment I realized that my wanting to do that way was a desire to protect my own face, so I hurried to pray to God, begging Him to keep me from being toyed with by Satan.

After returning home, I read these words: “In the thoughts of God, He intended to give each and every appearance, and all sorts of functions and uses, to the various living things He created, and so none of the things God made were cut from the same mold. From their exterior to their internal composition, from their living habits to the location that they occupy—each is different. … In short, when it comes to all things, man should defer to the authority of the Creator, which is to say, defer to the order appointed by the Creator to all things; this is the wisest attitude. Only an attitude of searching for, and obedience to, the original intentions of the Creator is the true acceptance and certainty of the authority of the Creator. It is good with God, so what reason does man have to find fault?” True. God’s words are spoken very well. God has created everything differently, and whether good-looking or ugly, they all have their individual uses, and within them lies God’s wisdom. Just as among billions of people, there are no identical persons; no matter whether man is tall or short, fat or thin, and good-looking or ugly, everyone is special. They all come from wise hands of the Creator, and in God’s eyes, they are all good. I am no exception. Despite my short stature, I clothe myself, eat, sleep and dwell normally, and I live and work normally. In God’s eyes, I am good; God is not biased against me. So instead of complaining about God, I should submit to God’s rule and arrangements, and play my role. This was the direction of life I should pursue. God’s words unchained my heart and I calmly accepted my height. I thought, “Even though I am short, I will still worship God and glorify God.”

From then on, under the guidance of God’s words, regardless of the circumstances that I spoke or did things in, I was no longer constrained by my short stature, nor did I feel lonely or inferior, but instead I got along so well with others and felt so liberated. God’s words have driven my vexation and I finally can raise my head and conduct myself. Now I am actively preaching the gospel and bearing witness to God, so that more people can be released from Satan’s bondage, say farewell to their painful lives, find a true home for their souls and pursue the most meaningful life.

 


Extended reading:

Seeing Through the Material Marriage, I No Longer Complains About My Poor Husband

How to Know and Regard the Fact of God’s Sovereignty Over Human Fate

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I Finally Had A Cute Baby – Christian Experience

By Li Qing Whenever I see the lovely smile on the face of my sleeping child, I am always grateful for God’s grace from deep within my heart. During the years when I believe in God, Satan entices and interferes me, as well as tries to distance me from God all the time by taking advantage of my weaknesses, so as to achieve its purpose of devouring man. How intense the battle in the spiritual realm is! Looking back on the road I have walked, I thank God for His salvation from the bottom of my heart. It is God who leads me step by step so that I am not devoured by Satan and come before God gradually. When I recall those freeze-frames now, I feel the sweetness of peace in my heart. As we had no child after marriage, my husband and I went to a provincial hospital to have a physical. The expert told us that I had such a slim chance of getting pregnant that we’d better give up and could only rely on science and technology. 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He moved my heart and spirit and led me to continue my path ahead through people, events, and objects around me, protecting me from struggling painfully under Satan’s domain. I once complained to God and misunderstood His heart, yet He did not treat me according to my every action, but still loved me. Thinking of this, I said to God in my heart, “O Almighty God! Thank You for bringing me back to Your family again and let me enjoy the watering and provision of Your words. I won’t leave You anymore, and I am willing to follow You and experience Your work.” Afterward, by constantly reading God’s word, I gradually understood that I always wanted to control my own fate and had my own ambition and desires, which was my weaknesses. If this could not be solved as early as possible, Satan would always exploit my weaknesses and attack me. Then, I consciously tried to equip myself with that aspect of truth. 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I No Longer Say, “If …” - Spiritual Awakening

By Xiaoju Xinlian wept and complained, “How could I marry you? You are capable of nothing. I can never enjoy a happy life with you in all my life. If …” Her husband sat there in silence, with a helpless look. After her husband went to work, Xinlian sat there and fell into a reverie. Scenes of the past leaped before her eyes, and her thoughts ran back over the past … Xinlian has a gift for singing. When she was in primary school, she won the first place in the school singing contest. Once, a theatrical college came to her school to recruit students. Her teacher specially informed her to take the examination. On the day when she took the examination, she wore new clothes, and walked toward the examination room happily. She was glad to have the chance to show herself. She wished for a good result to reflect credit on her parents and her school. The exam began. She waited outside the room excitedly … “Next one, Xinlian.” When hearing her name called, Xinlian was pleased and nervous. After all, it was the first time for her to encounter such a situation. Meanwhile, it also was an opportunity for her to change her fate. She walked into examination room with vigorous strides. The recruiter asked her, “How old are you?” “Twelve,” answered she. The recruiter said, “Well, only twelve. No, you are too young. It must be thirteen at least.” Immediately, her smile faltered. Her dream ended in smoke in an instant. She then thought, “Alas! If only I had told them I was 13 when entering my name.” She didn’t know how she went back home that day. When Xinlian was in junior high school, her sister couldn’t go to work because she was sick. So their parents wanted Xinlian to replace her sister’s work. However, Xinlian persistently clung to her studies. Her parents had to agree with her. Later, she fell to pass the college entrance examination. Her parents knew she had a good foundation in study, so they repeatedly advised her to cram for the examination. Yet, caring about face, she put an end to her studies, no matter what her parents said. When she started to reach marrying age, her high school classmate Li Bin asked to marry her. He was a city dweller and promised that he would find her a job if they got married. At that time, it was hard for some people to get in with the townsfolk. But Xinlian was conservative: She felt shy to be in love with her classmate. Consequently, she chose her current husband. After she got married, her father-in-law died of illness, and her husband became a laid-off worker. Her husband was supposed to replace his father’s work. However, in order to ease their mother of her burden, they allowed their brother to be the replacement. In her spare time, Xinlian always thought: If I had said I was 13 years old when taking the entrance exam for acting school, then my fate perhaps would have been changed. If I had taken my sister’s place at work that year, maybe … If I had accepted my parents’ suggestions and crammed for the exam, I probably would have gotten in to university. If I had chosen to marry my classmate, maybe … If my husband had been the successor, maybe… Recalling this, she lamented over the setbacks she had suffered, over her changing fortunes, and wondered why she couldn’t control her fate. She often regretted her past wrong choices. For this reason, she looked up to heaven to sigh deeply, and the more she thought about it, the more she suffered, sinking into the scenes of “If … maybe …”, and unable to escape. And these also confused her. One day, Xinlian came across her old classmate Yanmin. They had not seen each other for several years. After greetings, her classmate asked her how things were with her. Xinlian tirelessly told her classmate about her years of ifs and maybes. Seeing Xinlian’s perplexed look, Yanmin tapped her on the shoulder and comforted her, “There are not so many ifs in our life. A common saying goes, ‘Human fate is ordained by Heaven.’ You need not live in pain all day. Here is a book. The word within it is very good. Let me read for you, ‘From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to perform your duty. You assume your role in the plan of God and in the ordination of God. You begin the journey of life. Whatever your background and whatever the journey ahead of you, none can escape the orchestration and arrangement that Heaven has in store, and none are in control of their destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work’ (‘God Is the Source of Man’s Life’). ‘Your temperament, caliber, appearance, stature, family in which you were born, your job and your marriage, the entirety of you, even the color of your hair and your skin, and the time of your birth were all arranged by My hands. Even the things you do and the people you meet every single day are arranged by My hands, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today is actually My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly’” (“The Seventy-fourth Utterance”). Hearing these words with authority, Xinlian nodded her head ceaselessly, as if she found the answer. Indeed, no one can control his fate. Looking back over the past years, she had experienced lots of matters great or small, and so many of them were mistakes, but she was unable to do anything with them, and moreover, she was in control of nothing. … Yanmin saw her thoughtful air, saying, “What roles we play in our life are predestined by God. Everyone has his own duty and mission. Our families in which we were born, our jobs and our marriages all are arranged by God. No one can escape from the Creator’s orchestrations and arrangements. Because you haven’t come before God, don’t know the Creator, and don’t believe in His orchestrations and arrangements, you have been resisting them all along, with the result that you are living in such pain. If we can defer to the authority of the Creator, then we won’t have so many ifs and we won’t live in pain. Just as this passage of words says, ‘Only when one accepts the Creator’s sovereignty, submits to His orchestrations and arrangements, and seeks true human life, will one gradually break free from all heartbreak and suffering, shake off all the emptiness of life’” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). Listening to what Yanmin read, Xinlian felt these words really were good. Later, they usually read these words together, and shared their feelings and understandings with each other. One day, Xinlian saw the words in the book, “Because people do not recognize God’s orchestrations and God’s sovereignty, they always face fate defiantly, with a rebellious attitude, and always want to cast off God’s authority and sovereignty and the things fate has in store, hoping in vain to change their current circumstances and alter their fate. But they can never succeed; they are thwarted at every turn. This struggle, which takes place deep in one’s soul, is painful; the pain is unforgettable; and all the while one is frittering away one’s life. What is the cause of this pain? Is it because of God’s sovereignty, or because a person was born unlucky? Obviously neither is true. At bottom, it is because of the paths people take, the ways people choose to live their lives. … After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you, try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to have no choice, and to become a person who worships God” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). Not until she read these words did she realize that the reason why she lived in pain was not because God doesn’t rule well, nor because her fate arranged by God is bad, but because after having been corrupted by Satan, she always relied on the rule of life “The fate of man is controlled by his own hands” to live, wanted to control her fate, and failed to obey the situations orchestrated by God. This is actually the base means by which Satan corrupts and deceives man to stay away from God. For these sakes, she lived in pain. After understanding this, she came before God and prayed to Him. She resolved to bid farewell to her previous lifestyle, leave her all under the control of God, obey the Creator’s plans and His sovereignty in her rest time, and follow God to live a meaningful life. Xinlian then read these words to her husband, and he nodded approvingly. Afterward, with the fellowship of a friend, her husband also accepted God’s work. On one occasion, due to a small thing, she complained about her husband again, “If …” Her husband interrupted her, and said seriously, “Everything has been predetermined by God. You have no way to control yourself, nor do I. Only obeying the Creator’s plans and His sovereignty is the wisest option. …” At his words, she was so ashamed that she could find no words. From then on, she didn’t say, “If …”; rather, she learned to obey the Creator’s plans and His sovereignty in everything. Practicing in this way, she felt more and more relaxed, free, liberated.

2017-11-22 21:50:01

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