The Lord has come secretly before disasters. How can we welcome Him?
One afternoon in July, the sun, like a big furnace, was baking the earth. Yiyi was waiting for a bus. Even though she held her parasol, she could still feel the dazzling sunlight shining on her through the parasol. This made her mood gloomy and even more irritable.
Yiyi felt oppressed at the news that her friend’s husband led a double life. She couldn’t figure out how he could cheat on his wife. As her friend was young and beautiful, and had a cheerful disposition, moreover, they loved each other a lot before.
Seeing her friend often sighed and groaned and became speechless after her husband cheated on her, Yiyi felt both annoyed and anxious. She feared that her own marriage might also break down. She wondered: If that were the case, how could she keep their love fresh and alive. What if her marriage turns dull and loveless over time? How should she deal with it?
At this time, the bus arrived. Yiyi furled her parasol, got on it and sat in a window seat. The moment the bus started, a young woman’s voice came which was heard distinctly in this quiet bus, saying, “Recently my husband always said that he was busy with work. He neither came home after his work, nor allowed me to go to his company to visit him. One day, I went to his company and met his mistress. Both of them acknowledged their love affair. What should I do?”
Hearing these, Yiyi got a shock. Looking up, Yiyi saw that the woman, who was on the phone, was in her thirties. Yiyi didn’t know who was answering the woman’s phone, maybe it was her family or her friend, nor did Yiyi know how they would help the woman with this matter. Yiyi but clearly heard this woman crying as she said the last words. Right, who could withstand the cruel blow of their own husband’s cheating on themselves? Yiyi, powerlessly leaning her head against the window, closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.
Yiyi was a perfectionist in both marriage and love. She considered it unacceptable that men and women cheat on each other. And she couldn’t even accept spiritual infidelity. She and her husband were both Christians, and they knew that God’s righteous disposition allows no offense. But in daily life, Satan’s temptation everywhere really made Yiyi feel worried.
Also, the disparity in their external appearance let Yiyi feel the same. Her husband was tall and gentle; though not very talkative, he was attentive and patient. In contrast, Yiyi was small and homely. When they walked together, Yiyi felt she wasn’t good enough for her husband. When they went to have their wedding photos taken, the photographer didn’t praise her, but instead praised her husband for his handsome features. Yiyi therefore had a strong sense of loss.
After they got married, their life was going smoothly. Recently there was some changes in his work. Yiyi thought: Now he spends most of his time working with his female colleagues of his age, who pay attention to skin care and dress well. Will he develop some affections his female colleagues after spending a lot of time in their company? Today’s social trends are so evil and corrupt that extramarital love has become a new trend highly praised and followed by people. Will my husband be affected by such trends? Sometimes, the more Yiyi thought about these things, the more she felt as if her marriage was on the verge of collapsing.
When Yiyi chatted with her sister recently, her sister’s words made her much more miserable. Her sister said: “In today’s society, extramarital affairs are very common. If a couple wanna have a good life, they have to turn a blind eye on this. So you shouldn’t take it to heart. It’s alright.” Her sister then told some cases of committing immoral acts and betraying marriage happened around.
Faced with these facts, Yiyi fell into Satan’s temptation and snare unconsciously. So she began to be on her guard against her husband, and always tried to see whether her husband was faithful to her and whether he cared about her from his words. If he spoke in somewhat cool tones, she felt he deliberately snubbed her; if he showed some consideration for her, yet she thought he did so just because of having a secret and feeling guilty. Yiyi then began to read text messages on her man’s phone to pay close attention to the interaction between her husband and his female colleagues. Once she found any clue, she would question him thoroughly like a detective, attempting to know all the details and the background of those who made comments on her husband’s WeChat moments.
Before long, that her husband helped one of his female colleagues repair the computer, but he didn’t timely report it to Yiyi. This became the apple of discord. So they had a huge verbal fight.
“You are simply making groundless accusations. I didn’t tell you this trifle just because it would only make you more thin-skinned.” said her husband indignantly.
Yiyi answered him back: “You don’t dare to tell the truth all because there’s something fishy about you. Moreover, it is out of womanly nature that I suspect you and envy that woman, and what I did is due to caring about you. And you? You even kept a secret like this from me. How can I feel a sense of security?”
In the end, her husband slammed the door and left, while Yiyi, stayed in the room in a huff and cried. Thereafter, their relationship reached an impasse, and this family cold war began.
There was no life or happiness of times past in their home. It seemed as if the bears’ smile in the picture put on the wall looked awkward. Seeing her husband curling up in the corner of the sofa in low spirits, Yiyi’s heart was stung. She thought to herself: Am I really unreasonable? If in his shoes, perhaps I also can’t put up with myself. How about conciliating him? Nope, it isn’t only my fault. … But this cold war is really not what I want. She struggled and struggled in her heart, yet had no courage to put herself aside.
She thought and thought and thought and could only pour out her pain to God. She felt God had been observing her actions and that He couldn’t bear watching her being afflicted and bound by corrupt satanic disposition. Therefore, she regretted not having come before God, or having relied on Him to solve the problems with the truth as soon as possible.
Then, Yiyi told a sister that she was in her torment. The sister patiently pointed out that Yiyi relied on corrupt satanic disposition to suspect her husband, and that she needed to reflect on herself and put truth into practice according toto change herself.
Through the reminding of the sister, God enlightened Yiyi and she thought of God’s words: “I very much appreciate those who harbor no suspicion about others and I also very much like those who readily accept the truth; to these two kinds of men I show great care, for in My eyes they are honest men.”
God is faithful. He does things all according to the facts and never does wrong to anyone, so He also requires us not to suspect others by imaginations but to be an honest person. Thinking back, Yiyi realized that she actually regarded her imaginations as facts and imposed them on her husband based on her suspicions. This was unfair to him. In fact, her husband once explained to her why he helped his female colleague and the whole story, but due to her cunning nature she didn’t trust him, and often made trouble out of nothing, which resulted in their relationship reaching an impasse. At that time, Yiyi understood that all their pain was brought by corrupt disposition, and it was suspicion that made the discord creep into their stable relationship. When thinking of these, Yiyi was somewhat steady and at peace in her heart and wasn’t fooled by Satan. Then, unconsciously, their relationship began to improve.
Later, she read these words of God: “If people have no verbal or spiritual communication, there is no possibility of intimacy between them, and they can’t provide to each other or help one another. … Don’t pretend, don’t package yourself; instead, lay yourself bare, lay your heart bare for others to see. If you can lay your heart bare for others to see, and lay bare all that you think and plan to do in your heart—regardless of whether it is positive or negative—then are you not being honest?”
Yiyi realized both of them didn’t know how to open up to each other. Her husband was introverted and not good at expressing himself openly. He always kept his troubles to himself. Besides, arrogant and capricious, Yiyi would close the door of her heart if she was unhappy. After their marriage, though seldom raising Cain, they always repressed their emotions and didn’t have much real communication which can promote the intimacy and understanding between them. Through reading God’s words, Yiyi knew that God requires us mankind to be honest people. When we lay our heart bare to others through verbal or spiritual communication, we will become intimate with each other. She believed that as long as she acted according to God’s words, their marriage simply could be saved.
In a quiet night, their room was snug in the warm light. Yiyi and her husband poured their hearts out and shared their recent knowledge and gains. She apologized to him, and confessed that she had lived in suspicion about him these days. She groundlessly misunderstood him and even didn’t let him explain. She thought she did all this for the sake of love. However, after coming before God and seeking the truth, she realized that it was because of her corrupt disposition, self-righteousness. Therefore, Yiyi sincerely asked her husband to forgive her. And he also opened himself and told Yiyi that he sulked at her for he couldn’t accept the fact that she had suspicions about and misunderstood him. But when thinking of God’s requirements that people should learn how to be tolerant and patient and how to understand others, he left it out of account.
When hearing these, Yiyi felt ashamed that they both had lived in misery and had fallen for Satan’s schemes because of her corrupt disposition. Her husband then said how he prayed to God, asked God to protect him and thus kept away from temptation when facing with evil social trends at work. Hearing these words, involuntarily, Yiyi had a smile on her face and kept thanking God within. It was the truth expressed by God that watered and supplied them. It was God who led them and watched them grow little by little. And He helped them know how to live and conduct themselves, so they didn’t follow the evil trends.
God’s words say, “Whenever Satan corrupts man or engages in unbridled harm, God does not stand idly by, neither does He brush aside or turn a blind eye to those He has chosen. All that Satan does is perfectly clear and understood by God. No matter what Satan does, no matter what trend it causes to arise, God knows all that Satan is trying to do, and God does not give up on those He has chosen. Instead, without attracting any attention, secretly, silently, God does everything that is necessary.”
Reading God’s words and connecting them with her own experience during these days, Yiyi felt more of God’s love. They lived in this evil society, but because of God’s protection, she and her husband could be faithful to each other, and didn’t get divorced when their marriage was on the rocks, but instead reflected upon themselves according to God’s words and find the way to save their marriage. It was God’s grace and protection that helped them save their relationships and their marriage. After pouring their heart out to each other, Yiyi and her husband offered a prayer of thanksgiving to God together.