By Xueling, Burma
Editor’s note: As we all know, hepatitis B virus (that is, HBV) is highly contagious. It’s impossible to approximate the death toll from hepatitis B, because its sufferers whose conditions deteriorate and who develop liver cancer are too many to enumerate. As far as I know, the youngest patient with liver cancer is merely 2 years old and the youngest person who died of this cancer is just 24 years old. The author of this article was diagnosed with hepatitis B at the age of 21 in the physical examination for new employees. Fortunately, she didn’t grow worse, but got better bit by bit. How did she achieve that? This article will give us the answer.
“Xueling, are you married? Do you have a baby?”
“I’m married, but I don’t have a baby.”
“Judging from the analysis report, you get hepatitis B. When you have a baby, you shouldn’t breastfeed him. And when having meals with your family or friends, you need to use your separate bowls and chopsticks. …”
Immediately, the doctor’s words made me fall in the dumps.
It never occurred to me that in such an ordinary physical exam, I should be found to have gotten hepatitis B. The result upset me. Reading my worry, the doctor said to me soothingly, “It’s just a pity that hospitals don’t have the special medicine for hepatitis B. But you can take some Chinese medicine. It acts quickly. And you’ll get better if you insist on taking medicine.” Obviously, the doctor played down the serious nature of my illness. But I knew that hepatitis B is hard to cure and that if I got worse, my life would be in danger.
After I came home, the empty room felt extraordinarily desolate. I sat on the bed, staring outside the window blankly and helplessly, with tears falling down ceaselessly. I couldn’t help thinking, “I have started to accept God’s work, so how come I got this disease? Why didn’t God protect me? Am I not the object of God’s salvation? …” Unwittingly, I became somewhat negative and lost my.
One day, a sister came to visit me. After getting at my situation, she read me a passage of God’s words, “When sickness happens it is due to God’s love, and His good intentions are surely behind it. Even when your body endures suffering, take no ideas from Satan. Praise God in the midst of illness and enjoy God in the midst of your praise. Do not lose heart in the face of illness, keep seeking and never give up, and God shall shine His light on you. How faithful was Job?is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.”
After reading God’s words, the sister fellowshiped, “When we first, we don’t understand much of the truth. In fact, all our diseases and sufferings are from Satan. Satan wants us to encounter illness and misfortune and feel disappointed with our life. Through this, it disturbs us into doubting and misunderstanding God, and then denying and betraying God, returning to its domain once again, so as to achieve its aim of continuing to harm and trample us. Don’t fall into Satan’s trickery. Today, in this disease befalling on us, God’s intention is to let us come before Him more to rely on and look up to Him, but is not to let us live in Satan’s harm and be negative and weak. God says, ‘If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.’ God can make the lame walk, the blind see, and the dead return. He is almighty. And nothing is difficult for Him. We should have faith in God, rely on and look up to Him more, entrust all this into His hand and let Him rule over and arrange it.”
Through God’s words and the sister’s fellowship, I understood some of God’s intentions. When everything went well, I had a lot of faith in God, whereas on falling ill, I complained that God didn’t protect me and even suspected that I wasn’t the object of God’s salvation. What I revealed showed I had no faith in God. Then I made a resolution: I won’t fall into Satan’s trickery. I will follow God steadily, entrust my disease into God’s hands and obey His sovereignty and arrangements. Over the following days, I bought lots of Chinese medicine and found another job and worked normally.
One month later, I went to get checked as the doctor required. The result showed that my conditions didn’t get better. Facing that, I immediately felt depressed. I thought to myself, “I’ve prayed to God and I’ve also taken the medicine. But why don’t I get better? I’m just 21 years old. What if I get worse? Moreover, the treatment for this disease will cost me lots of money, and I can’t afford it.” The more I considered it, the more confused and distressed I became.
When the sister came to visit me again, I spoke my mind to her. Then the sister showed me a gospel video called Almighty God Has Given Me a Second Life. The heroine is in the advanced stages of cancer and the doctor says she has only three months to live. Afraid that she might die in their home, her husband kicks her out. The others who know her well all think she has no hope of survival. However, after she accepts God’s work of the last days, under the guidance of God’s words, she sees God’s wondrous deeds—her cancer is miraculously gone. Her experience brought hope to me in confusion and agony. I believed that all this was arranged by God: He used the environments as well as the people, events and things to lead and help me and give me faith and an understanding of His almightiness and sovereignty. Hence, I prayed to God, “O God! I had no true faith in You. When I didn’t get better, I became negative and had complaints. O God, I’m willing to truly entrust my disease to You. No matter whether or when I will be cured, I’m willing to follow You and obey Your arrangements.”
Afterward, the sister read another passage of God’s words, “How many believe in Me only so I would heal them? How many believe in Me only so I would use My powers to drive unclean spirits out of their bodies? And how many believe in Me simply to receive peace and joy from Me? How many believe in Me only to demand from Me more material wealth, and how many believe in Me just to spend this life in safety and to be safe and sound in the world to come? How many believe in Me only to avoid the suffering of hell and to receive the blessings of heaven? How many believe in Me only for temporary comfort but do not seek to gain anything in the world to come? When I brought down My fury upon man and seized all the joy and peace he originally possessed, man became doubtful. When I gave unto man the suffering of hell and reclaimed the blessings of heaven, man’s shame turned into anger. When man asked Me to heal him, yet I acknowledged him not and felt abhorrence for him, man went far away from Me and sought the way of witch doctors and sorcery. When I took away all that man had demanded from Me, they all disappeared without a trace. Therefore, I say that man has faith in Me because I give too much grace, and there is far too much to gain.”
The sister fellowshiped, “God’s words reveal our intentions and impurities in believing in God. If not for God’s revelations, we would still consider that it is proper to seek peace and blessings, and to ask God to heal us when we are sick and help us when we encounter difficulties. In fact, such a perspective on faith is incorrect. After we were corrupted by Satan, we had already been filled with various thoughts and viewpoints of Satan, such as “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Why get up early if there’s nothing in it for me?” “Take advantages without risks,” and so on. So we were born with a selfish and despicable corrupt disposition. In our believing in God and handling other things, our principle is for our own sake, to benefit ourselves, and we never have genuine dedication or make sincere efforts. Our expending for God is to gain blessings. If we don’t get peace or blessings, we will deny God and betray God. This is caused by our selfish nature.”
The revelation of God’s words and the sister’s fellowship awakened me. It turned out that the reason why I became negative and weak, lost faith in God, and even misunderstood and complained against God time and time again when I fell ill was mainly because my selfish and despicable satanic nature commanded me to have the intention and desire of gaining blessings. When I was diagnosed with hepatitis B, I made demands of God in my heart, hoping that He would heal me. So when I didn’t get better after a period of treatment, I misunderstood God and complained against Him, living in negative conditions. I was absolutely unable to bear witness for God like Job. My perspective of believing in God was wrong. At that point, I suddenly realized that although I suffered some physical pain when encountering this disease, through this environment, God revealed my wrong perspective of belief in God and despicable intention. It was exactly God’s salvation to me. Only through this revelation could I know myself, and then my life disposition could be changed and purified through pursuing the truth, and finally I could be after God’s heart. Thank God! After understanding God’s intention, I felt especially steadfast.
One day, during my spiritual, I saw a passage of God’s words, “No one is born by chance, no one’s death is unexpected, and both birth and death are necessarily connected with one’s previous and present lives. The circumstances of one’s birth and death are both predetermined by the Creator; this is a person’s destiny, a person’s fate. Just as much can be said about one’s birth, every person’s death will occur under a different set of special circumstances, hence people’s varying lifespans and the different manners and times of their deaths. Some people are strong and hale and yet die early; others are weak and sickly yet live to an old age, and pass away peacefully. Some perish of unnatural causes, others of natural ones. Some end their lives far from home, others shut their eyes with their loved ones by their side. Some people die in midair, others beneath the earth. Some sink beneath the water, others are lost in disasters. Some die in the morning, others at night. … Everyone wants an illustrious birth, a brilliant life, and a glorious death, but no one can overstep their own destiny, no one can escape the Creator’s sovereignty. This is human fate.” From God’s words, I realized that everyone’s birth and death, and the time, backgrounds and manners of everyone’s birth and death are all predetermined by God, not chosen by any of us. And I saw these things in real life: Some people are strong yet die suddenly, while others are weak and sickly yet live to a ripe old age; some lead a comfortable life yet die early, while others lead a poor life yet survive many sufferings and grow old…. All this indeed is not controlled by us humans and no one can change it. This is destiny. Since our all are under God’s predetermination and sovereignty, then whether and when I can be healed are also in God’s hands. As a created being, my only choice is to obey the Creator’s orchestration and arrangements and to satisfy God for every day I live, and to fulfill my duty as a created being to comfort God’s heart. This is a smart choice, the way in life I should walk, and also the most relaxed way of living.
After understanding this truth, I was more brightened in my heart. Hence, in the days that followed, apart from taking medicine as usual, I spent more time in gathering and fellowshiping with my brothers and sisters and fulfilled my duty to the best of my ability. When I no longer considered whether I would receive blessings or suffer misfortune in the future, I felt ever more liberated from the bottom of my heart, and wasn’t constrained by my disease anymore, thinking that it was enough to follow the practical God and live for Him in this life.
Several months later, when I went to the hospital for reexamination, the doctor told me that I was not seriously ill and that if I was more selective in my eating, I would be healed without medicine. Knowing this, I was full of gratitude and praise to God.
In the one short year when I believed in God, through my experience of God’s work, my incorrect perspective on faith was turned around a little, and I truly experienced that God’s work of cleansing and saving mankind is so real and practical. I’m more determined that from now on I will no longer consider or plan for myself, but contribute my own tiny effort and dedicate my all to God to repay His love.
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