By Xueling, Burma
As we all know, the hepatitis B virus (that is, HBV) is highly contagious. It’s impossible to approximate the death toll from hepatitis B because its sufferers, whose conditions deteriorate and who develop liver cancer, are too many to enumerate. As far as I know, the youngest patient with liver cancer is only 2 years old and the youngest person who died of this cancer was just 24 years old. The author of this article was diagnosed with hepatitis B at the age of 21 during the physical examination for new employees at her workplace. Fortunately, she didn’t get worse, but got better bit by bit. How did she achieve that? This article will give us the answer.
“Xueling, are you married? Do you have any children?”
“I’m married, but I don’t have any children.”
“Judging from the analysis report, you have hepatitis B. If you have a baby, you shouldn’t breastfeed it. And when having meals with your family or friends, you need to use a separate bowl and chopsticks…”
The doctor’s words made me feel instantly depressed.
It never occurred to me that I would be diagnosed with hepatitis B through such an ordinary physical exam. The result upset me. Seeing how worried I was, the doctor said to me soothingly, “Hospitals don’t carry special medicine for hepatitis B. However, you can take some Chinese medicine and you will quickly get better. Although you’ve had this illness for a while now, you’ll still get better if you persist in taking the Chinese medicine.” Obviously, the doctor played down the serious nature of my illness. I knew that hepatitis B is hard to cure and that if it got worse, my life would be in danger.
After I came home, my empty room felt extraordinarily desolate. I sat on the bed and stared out the window blankly and helplessly, as tears fell ceaselessly from my eyes. I couldn’t help thinking, “I have only just accepted God’s work, so how come I got this disease? Why didn’t God protect me? …” Without being aware of it, I became somewhat negative and lost my.
One day, a sister came to visit me. When she learned of my situation, she read me a passage of, “When sickness happens it is due to God’s love, and His good intentions are surely behind it. Even when your body endures suffering, take no ideas from Satan. Praise God in the midst of illness and enjoy God in the midst of your praise. Do not lose heart in the face of illness, keep seeking and never give up, and God shall shine His light on you. How faithful was Job? is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.”
After reading God’s words, the sister fellowshiped, “When we first, we don’t understand much of the truth. In fact, all our diseases and sufferings are from Satan. Satan wants us to encounter illness and misfortune and feel disappointed with our life. Satan thereby disrupts us, causing us to doubt and misunderstand God, which leads to our denial and betrayal of God. Eventually, we end up returning to Satan’s domain, and thus Satan’s aim of continuing to harm and trample us is achieved. Don’t get caught out by Satan’s trickery! behind your contraction of this disease is that you come before Him more to rely on and look up to Him; His will is not for us to live being harmed by Satan and to be negative and weak. God says, ‘If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.’ God can make the lame walk, the blind see and the dead come back to life. He is almighty, and nothing is difficult for Him. We should have faith in God, rely on and look up to Him more, entrust all this into His hands and let Him rule over and arrange it all.”
Through God’s words and the sister’s fellowship, I understood some of God’s will. When everything went well, I had a lot of faith in God. On the contrary, when I fell ill, I complained that God didn’t protect me. What I revealed showed that I had no faith in God. Then I made a resolution: I won’t get caught out by Satan’s trickery. I will follow God in earnest, entrust my disease into God’s hands and obey His sovereignty and arrangements. Over the following days, I bought lots of Chinese medicine and found another job in which I could work normal hours.
One month later, I went to get checked as the doctor required. The result showed that my condition was not getting better. When I learned of this, I immediately felt depressed. I thought to myself, “I’ve prayed to God and I’ve also taken the medicine. Why aren’t I getting better? I’m just 21 years old. What if I get worse? Moreover, the treatment for this disease will cost me lots of money, and I can’t afford it.” The more I thought about it, the more confused and distressed I became.
When the sister came to visit me again, I told her what was on my mind. Then the sister showed me an experience testimony article. The heroine in the article is in the advanced stages of cancer and the doctor says there is nothing more they can do for her. Afraid that she might die in their home, her husband kicks her out. The others who know her well all think she has no hope of survival. However, after she accepts God’s work of the last days, under the guidance of God’s words, she sees God’s wondrous deeds—her cancer is miraculously cured. Her experience brought hope to me. I believed that all that was happening to me was arranged by God: He was using the environment as well as people, events and things to lead and help me and give me faith and an understanding of His almightiness and sovereignty. Hence, I prayed to God, “O God! I had no true faith in You. When I didn’t get better, I became negative and I complained. O God, I’m willing to truly entrust my disease to You. Regardless of when I get cured or whether I can be cured or not, I’m willing to follow You and obey Your arrangements.”
Afterward, the sister read another passage of God’s words, “How many believe in Me only so I would heal them? How many believe in Me only so I would use My powers to drive unclean spirits out of their bodies? And how many believe in Me simply to receive peace and joy from Me? How many believe in Me only to demand from Me more material wealth, and how many believe in Me just to spend this life in safety and to be safe and sound in the world to come? How many believe in Me only to avoid the suffering of hell and to receive the blessings of heaven? How many believe in Me only for temporary comfort but do not seek to gain anything in the world to come? When I brought down My fury upon man and seized all the joy and peace he originally possessed, man became doubtful. When I gave unto man the suffering of hell and reclaimed the blessings of heaven, man’s shame turned into anger. When man asked Me to heal him, yet I acknowledged him not and felt abhorrence for him, man went far away from Me and sought the way of witch doctors and sorcery. When I took away all that man had demanded from Me, they all disappeared without a trace. Therefore, I say that man has faith in Me because I give too much grace, and there is far too much to gain.”
The sister fellowshiped, “God’s words reveal the motives and impurities in our faith in God. If not for God’s revelations, we would still consider it proper to seek peace and blessings and to ask God to heal us when we are sick and to help us when we encounter difficulties. In fact, such a perspective on faith is incorrect. After we were corrupted by Satan, we were filled with various thoughts and viewpoints of Satan, such as “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Why get up early if there’s nothing in it for me?” “Take advantages without risks,” and so on, and were therefore born with a selfish and despicable corrupt disposition. Whether with regards to faith in God or anything else, acting for our own sake and to benefit ourselves is our principle, and we never have genuine dedication or make sincere efforts. We give things up and expend ourselves in our faith in God to gain blessings, and if we don’t get peace or blessings, we deny God and betray God. This is caused by our selfish nature.”
The revelation of God’s words and the sister’s fellowship awakened me. It turned out that the reason why I became negative and weak, lost faith in God, and even misunderstood and complained to God time and time again when I fell ill was mainly because my selfish and despicable satanic nature commanded me to have the intention and desire to gain blessings. When I was diagnosed with hepatitis B, I made demands of God in my heart. So, when I didn’t get better after a period of treatment, I misunderstood God, complained to Him and lived in a very negative state. I was absolutely unable to bear witness for God like Job had, and I saw that my perspective of believing in God was wrong! At that point, I suddenly realized that, although I suffered some physical pain when encountering this disease, through this environment, God had revealed my wrong perspective on faith and my despicable motives. This was truly God’s salvation for me. Only through this revelation could I know myself, and only through pursuing the truth could my life disposition be changed and purified, and I could finally become a person who accords with God’s will. Thanks be to God! After understanding God’s will, my heart was very much eased.
One day, during my spiritual devotion, I read a passage of God’s words, “No one is born by chance, no one’s death is unexpected, and both birth and death are necessarily connected with one’s previous and present lives. The circumstances of one’s birth and death are both predetermined by the Creator; this is a person’s destiny, a person’s fate. Just as much can be said about one’s birth, every person’s death will occur under a different set of special circumstances, hence people’s varying lifespans and the different manners and times of their deaths. Some people are strong and hale and yet die early; others are weak and sickly yet live to an old age, and pass away peacefully. Some perish of unnatural causes, others of natural ones. Some end their lives far from home, others shut their eyes with their loved ones by their side. Some people die in midair, others beneath the earth. Some sink beneath the water, others are lost in disasters. Some die in the morning, others at night. … Everyone wants an illustrious birth, a brilliant life, and a glorious death, but no one can overstep their own destiny, no one can escape the Creator’s sovereignty. This is human fate.” From God’s words, I realized that each person’s birth and death, and such things as the time, background and manner of each person’s birth and death are all predetermined by God, and are not chosen by us. Indeed, I have seen some people who are strong die suddenly, while others who are weak and sickly live to a ripe old age; some lead a comfortable life yet die early, while others lead a poor life yet survive many sufferings and grow old… None of this is controlled by us humans and no one can change it—this is destiny. Since our lives are completely under God’s predetermination and sovereignty, whether and when I would be healed was also in God’s hands. As a created being, my only choice was to obey the Creator’s orchestration and arrangements, satisfy God every day I live and fulfill my duty as a created being to comfort God’s heart. This was the only intelligent choice, the path which I should walk and the easiest way to live.
After understanding this truth, my heart brightened! Hence, in the days that followed, apart from taking medicine as usual, I spent more time in gathering and fellowshiping with my brothers and sisters and I fulfilled my duties to the best of my ability. When I no longer thought about my future or about whether I would receive blessings or suffer misfortune, I felt ever more liberated from the bottom of my heart and I wasn’t constrained by my disease anymore. I began to think that following the practical God and living for Him in this life was more than enough.
Several months later, when I went to the hospital for reexamination, the doctor told me that I was no longer seriously ill and that, if I was a little more careful with my diet, I would be healed without needing to take any more medicine. When I heard this, I became full of gratitude and praise for God.
When I reflected on this one short year of faith in God, through my experience of God’s work, my incorrect perspective on faith had changed, and I truly experienced that God’s work of cleansing and saving mankind is so real and practical. I’m more determined that from now on I will no longer take any thought for myself or plan anything for myself. Instead, I will contribute my own meagre efforts and dedicate my all to God to repay His love.